Everyone Has a Story

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Everyone has a story. Someone’s experienced loss, someone has dealt with sickness and others have had a rough childhood… Well, I have a story too. This story has made me build a wall around myself. I don’t let people in and I know it because I mostly do it on purpose. I am a nice person (even if I say so myself) but I feel like people think I am shallow because I never talk about my problems or they think I have it easy in life because I don’t pour my problems on them.

Another thing about problems is that I am a positive thinker. I never see a problem as a negative, I either turn them into opportunities or into something I can learn from and make myself a better person. And also the things that have happened to me have made me see the bigger picture so I don’t even acknowledge the smaller everyday challenges as problems.

Why else have I never let myself fall in love? I have been scared to be tied down. I always felt like I am young and I need to explore the opportunities the modern world provides us with. I couldn’t let a guy make me settle down. I just wasn’t having it. But where has this thinking taken me to? Being even more confused and to missing affection. So I have decided I will be open to anything life presents me with. Stop being scared. That’s what my diary will be about- not being scared… Everyone has a story and here is mine!

This is Marisa

Here I am, frustrated and pouring my heart out in an online diary. I’m in college, I work and I have a very time consuming hobby which luckily keeps me in very good shape. I am supposed to graduate from college this spring which means that I don’t have a lot of classes. But those “empty” hours I fill with work. I mean if a girl wants to look and feel gorgeous she has to have the cash for it, right? Well, you would think that I would have time for a life after work BUT the late hours of the day are filled with my hobby. I couldn't live or breathe without it so I can’t just drop it.

Well, all of this leads to me having very little time for a love life. That brings me to my frustration. The problem is that I am very used to being alone, maybe even too used to it. But I do feel like there is something missing from my life, and that is love. I don’t think I have ever really loved anyone or felt loved by someone. I have had boyfriends and it has been wonderful but I have never let myself fall in love. Why? That is a whole other story which you’ll have to read about later ;)… I have not yet had a long term relationship. I have had the most random love experiences that had lead me to being even more cautious.

But I am ready to let my cautiousness go and let life take me. The journey will be filled with, love, pain and life lessons. All of that scares me to bits but I finally feel ready for all of it… I’m ready…