Here I am,
frustrated and pouring my heart out in an online diary. I’m in college, I work
and I have a very time consuming hobby which luckily keeps me in very good
shape. I am supposed to graduate from college this spring which means that I
don’t have a lot of classes. But those “empty” hours I fill with work. I mean
if a girl wants to look and feel gorgeous she has to have the cash for it,
right? Well, you would think that I would have time for a life after work BUT
the late hours of the day are filled with my hobby. I couldn't live or breathe
without it so I can’t just drop it.
Well, all
of this leads to me having very little time for a love life. That brings me to my
frustration. The problem is that I am very used to being alone, maybe even too
used to it. But I do feel like there is something missing from my life, and
that is love. I don’t think I have ever really loved anyone or felt loved by
someone. I have had boyfriends and it has been wonderful but I have never let
myself fall in love. Why? That is a whole other story which you’ll have to read
about later ;)… I have not yet had a long term relationship. I have had the
most random love experiences that had lead me to being even more cautious.
But I am
ready to let my cautiousness go and let life take me. The journey will be
filled with, love, pain and life lessons. All of that scares me to bits but I
finally feel ready for all of it… I’m ready…
